Birthdays have always been a little strange to me. I mean, the whole holiday thing in general, really. It seems so odd to have a build up to a day which, in reality, is just like any other day, just that something happened at that same time, sometime ago. Maybe this is a result of being a New Year Baby. Everything comes all at once and then is gone for 11 months.
New Year's and Birthdays were ones I really didn't particularly get. A specific day to look back on the whole last year, what you have done and haven't done in the past 8760 hours (I know you're using your iPhone to calculate that now). The theory is that you will evaluate your time spent, decide what you did well and what you failed at, and make amends, and move on. Except for most people make silly or unrealistic goals, which just end up turning into "It's not going to be like last year, this time..." statements.
Well, this year, for me, things really have changed. 21 was a crazy age. At this time last year, I was just starting and settling into a new job (which I would leave less then 5 months later), in a great relationship with a great guy, and pretty much happy with where I was.
It was the summertime before I started to get restless. Working full time will do that to a person. Days all start to blend together and all of a sudden it's the weekend and you don't know what happened, but you probably can't remember anything but the bullet points. I started taking hour long bike rides home from work. Reflecting time. I liked to go past the shipyards, even though I was probably breathing in some horrible stuff, and negating whatever health benefit the cycling had given to me. But man, did it help me appreciate what I had. I feel lucky to live where I live, and to do what I do, and not have to answer to anyone but myself.
That's what this year is going to be for me. This isn't a resolution, it's a decision. I'm going to stop being and start doing.
And this time, I mean it.
No comments:
Post a Comment